Today's post is not very fun to read but I think it is really needed for a lot more people that what we think. I consider myself a lucky girl but in the last year and a half I've been through a lot of loss and grieving. I kept being myself so no one could notice how much I was in pain, so I figured out that many people that are happy might go through something similar to me, or worse. As well as I want to help myself get better I want to help as much people that I can. So here are the ways I deal with loss. I hope it's going to help.
Take your time. Grieving is a long process and you can't decide how long it's going to last. Pain is going to fade a little with time and with it, your grieving process. No one can tell you how long you have to grief or to "get over it" because, well it's tactless, and especially because you have no control over your pain. You don't have to fit in a category of person. I'm supposed to always be bubbly and happy and laughing and I often felt that since that was the type of person people thought me as I wasn't allowed to show pain and sadness. It's not true.
Let it cry. If you need to cry, cry. This especially applies to boys since society considers crying "feminine" and doesn't really give credit to men that show their emotions (as if being feminine was something bad but that's not the point rn). If you want to cry in your bed, do so but if you want to cry in public you can do so too ! It's okay ! It doesn't show your weaknesses it just prouves that you are a human being with feelings.
Talk about it. Keeping that kind of pain just for yourself is destructive. You need to get it out. Talk about it to your friends, your family, your shrink, your cat or write in your journal. It needs to get out of your head. Once your thought are shared, or on paper, then the burden is not all yours anymore, it's shared. And having people that support you and try everything to help you and cheer you up is priceless. Don't isolate yourself.
Take care of yourself. It might sound superficial but actually having relaxing moments might help you. It can help with sleeping better at night for example. Reading can take your mind to other worlds for a moment, worlds where you can forget your pain for a couple of hours.
Keep yourself busy. Try to go out. Not necessarily to party but go grocery shopping, go to class, meet a friend for a coffee. Try getting out in the world. I know you might not want to but you have to force yourself. Keeping yourself busy will prevent you from sitting on your bed all day and being empty. Those moments happen, and you might not feel joy in your different activities but at least you are not stopping your life completely.
Top : Brandy & Melville ♥ Pants : Topshop ♥ Coat : Zara
Ph : Roxane
I've rediscovered this coat lately, I wore it on the blog once here almost three years ago and pretty much forgot it until a few days ago. I hate the fact that I haven't worn a piece of my closet that I actually really like in such a long time ! That's a shame, a waste and an insult to those who are not lucky enough to have as much as you have. We all need to stop over buying clothes (and over buying in general too) and use what we already have until it's torn or stops fitting. When you get to this point please don't throw them away, give them to someone in need or a charity, even if the clothes are in terrible shape they will upgrade it.
On a lighter note I would like to know you opinion on the carpet-lookingness of my coat. I remember being so offended when my dad and father made fun of me saying that the first time that I wore it. But now I can see their point, it kinda looks like a carpet. But a nice carpet. A nice carpet that did not keep me warm at all during this day. You probably can't see it but it was freezing cold and I was pretty much an ice cube during this shoot. It made me dream of sun and vacation. I want to travel so much this year, I hope I can find a way to achieve my travel goals. What are yours ?